My brain won’t beat me.

I suffer from many different brain illnesses. I suffer from chronic migraines, I get about 4 to 5 a week. They are debilitating and stop me cold. I am useless and cannot function for the day(s). I also suffer from seizures. I do take preventative medications, and I have Lyssa the medical alert Doberman who alerts me when they are coming. But I do still get seizures from time to time.

The problem with having chronic migraines is that they also bring on strokes, which I have also had, unfortunately. It definitely was one of the scariest moments of my life and for my family. But luckily, it left no permanent damage to my brain. Phew! It did although leave some weird nerve damage to my right side. I have tremors in my right arm and hand and have no feeling in my leg. And guess what? I STILL run marathons! Yes! Because I am UNSTOPPABLE and possibly insane.

With all the treatments I’ve tried and all the medications I am on, my migraines seem to be getting worse. Now when I run, hell even when I am not running, I am going blind. The pain is super intense that I end up in the hospital and I get admitted to stay there because I end up with other explainable symptoms.

Yesterday my neurologist tried a new treatment. Botox injections. A lot of them, more than the usual dose. I was injected from my forehead, all over my head, neck, and to the muscles in my upper back. The procedure was about 20 minutes but painful. I was left swollen in all the areas of the injection site and with a super bad headache. Doctor put me on bed rest for the day.

I couldn’t put pressure anywhere on my head because it hurt. He injected A LOT of medication and it hurt. I have to go through this again and again, assuming it works. The last time I was admitted to the hospital, they were all suspecting I was on the verge of a stroke so they were keeping me at close watch. Everyone is on pins and needles, as am I because I don’t want to suffer another stroke, I don’t want to suffer anymore.

Today, 24 hours post procedure, I am still swollen everywhere. My headache is still bad and I am oddly dizzy. I wasn’t yesterday. I don’t have the procedure discomfort, just the headache. But I am remaining optimistic. Even though the Doctor said within 24 hours the medication will be within the muscles doing it’s job.

Life is tough, in my case it seems to get tougher by the day. I never know what my brain will do. One’s brain is a powerful source of strength. It has a “mind” of its own. It can shut down your whole body if it wants to. It has done it to me and I never know when the next time will be. So I live it in the moment. I laugh, I smile, I do what I can with what I have. Even if it’s hell what I am going through, I push forward. Life is too short to be anything but happy. So buckle up, smile, and enjoy the ride.

-gelcys