I don’t know if you all have seen the instagram top nine photos. Where it finds your most liked top nine photos? Well, I did it and at first I wasn’t too proud of what I saw. Five out of the nine photos were when I spent my time in the hospital. It made me sad and disappointed. This year I did spend most of it in the hospital. Weeks at a time. It was frustrating and painful. ALL of it due to my brain.
Countless seizures, and the amount of migraines has been infinite. Still having an undiagnosed problem has been hard to get through. But the pain the migraines have caused….YIKES! They are leaving literal scars on my brain. What!?! How? Is that even a thing?
I did learn a lot of new things about my brain and my mental health. My anxiety is much worse than what it seemed so I am slowly working through that. BUT, with all that negativity, I saw past it and saw the positives. What did I see out of 2019?
I was training for my next marathon! Say whaaat?! I was going through alll of this garbage and trying to train for a marathon at the same time. There was a period where I just couldn’t do a thing because I could barely walk. So I took my time. I also struggled with getting my Scoliosis pain and new neck pain under control which I found out that I have a developing curve in my neck. But working with my massage therapist and using my BFF, AKA KT Tape products, it has been tolerable.
Once I felt strong enough, it was on like Donkey Kong. I worked on my strength, and my speed which resulted in me winning my first EVER 10K race! I was so excited about it! That got me into a groove and training got underway and things were going great. Until it wasn’t….I took like 20 steps back. Until this very day. The marathon is less than 2 weeks away and I STILL haven’t been able to hit my goal distance.
I am SUPER frustrated about it. I DID NOT work this hard to just make it to this point. I worked super hard with my Egg Weights to get back my running form as best I can. And I am running a little better. I am able to hold a faster pace for longer time. But this brain of mine has a different mind of it’s own I’m telling you. I am fighting with every ounce of strength I have and giving it everything but my body is just not cooperating.
Lyssa has worked magnificently well this year. And so much! I am so proud of her and the growth she has done. I still train her and help her with new tasks. We don’t go out as much anymore but I mainly need her at home anyhow. She is always on target and she is as loving as always.
As race day is is quickly approaching, I can’t help to think back of how much time I spent in the hospital, but also all the hard work and comebacks I have had to do to get me to where I am today. 2019 has definitely challenged me, and I am afraid 2020 is going to be a duplicate. I will continue to do those chemotherapy injections for my migraines and keep trying new monthly injections to ease this because this life of horrors can’t be it for me. I have big plans and great goals that I intend to accomplish.