I know you all have been following my running and Scoliosis journey. A few weeks ago I was struggling with a new back pain that I have never had before. It was severely debilitating. I could barely do my usual daily things, like breathing. But I’ve been seeing lots of doctors and professionals.
This past weekend I completed my first half marathon by myself. I wasn’t sure if I would even run it because I am still not at my version of what 100% is. I spent two weeks doing nothing because any movement hurt. But I busted my butt last week training to be able to run it and I did! It wasn’t pretty because the heat and humidity was out of control, but I finished. That was my only goal.
Today was a different story…I went to see a spine specialist about all the new pains I’ve been having. Turns out that my double Scoliosis, is on the move. My spine has curved an additional 11 degrees. I have lots of damage from past spinal surgeries, my lower back is a total mess, and instead of just 2 rotated ribs, yeah they pretty much all are rotated. So now I am facing a long, painful,road ahead. As I am hearing all of this, and staring at my latest x-ray with the pretty pronounced curve, it felt like it was all slow motion. For a second I started thinking no way, this isn’t happening, I must be dreaming..then the doctor looked at me.
He told me that I should be active, to which I responded that I am a marathoner and had just run my 7th half marathon. He looked at my x-ray and then looked back at me with a shocked face. He couldn’t believe I run, let alone successfully complete the 39.3 miles Goofy Challenge.
He asked me how I felt when I run, my response..I felt free. It’s the only moment of each and every day that I don’t feel pain. It makes me feel like I am stronger than Scoliosis. He simply told me that if I can handle the pain once I stop, then I shouldn’t stop running. Running is not affecting the curve of my spine. Its not helping and its not hurting my Scoliosis, I was happy with that.
But with that came a lot of confusion. My back is all messed up inside from past spinal surgeries. My spine has started to curve and we won’t know at what rate. If it is progressing at a faster rate, then I am looking at another spinal fusion sooner than later. I do not want another surgery, which he stated that I wouldn’t need one…for now.
It has been an emotional mixed day, yes, with lots of tears and sadness. There was good news and bad news. Knowing that my spine has move 11 degrees is pretty bad, because my spine is fused together. It’s a mystery as to why it has moved: the doctor was perplexed on this one. While some things that I can’t help, there are others that can improve my days. But one thing I know is that tomorrow is a NEW DAY. A new chance for opportunities and greater things to happen.
I know that what I deal with isn’t easy and those who deal with the same thing or worse know what it’s like to live with chronic pain. It’s something that can’t be explain or described. Luckily I’m surrounded by people who love and support me and have given me their shoulder to cry on with no questions asked. I cherish those people greatly. My husband being the #1 person in my life who has NEVER treated me differently, or felt differently about me. He gives me unconditional love and support and is ready to walk beside me for this new journey I am about to embark on. I still have a positive strong mind and will stand tall against the obstacles that will come before me. SCOLIOSIS STRONG.
-the Scoliosis runner