Life is something serious isn’t is?!?! It definitely has a sense of humor and sometimes I don’t laugh..well I’m lying. I do. With the diagnosis of the permanent nerve damage in my legs, it’s been hard to get higher mileage or hell, even back to my faster pace lately. But yesterday I freaking killed it!!!
I hit 9 miles and felt good about it. I was so proud and even though I was beat and tired, I felt strong. I know you all know “that” feeling where you are sweating, tired, drained, but feel so accomplished at the same time? Yeah that feeling.
But at the same time I have been fighting 4 migraines a week for some time. So I’d figure it was time to see my neurologist and today I did. In playing the hide and seek game, we are trying yet another medication while taking one away and hoping it solves the problem.
Now I will tell you all something I have been battling for some months…I have also been fighting with another physical condition that is also painful. But this one is pretty visible and right in your face. It is strange and abnormal for someone my age.
I have developed tremors in my right arm and hand where it shakes uncontrollably and it has been going on for months. I have seen so many specialists and I am tired of it. So many tests have been done that I can tell you the codes by now.
At this point, nothing can stop the shaking, and when it gets out of control, it affects my arm thus affecting my back. It doesn’t hurt unless I try to be functional with it, grab a cup, a pen, a bag, open something. And you’d think that running would be fine, but it bothers my arm and hand. My hand automatically tucks away into my hip and I try to force it out and run “normally” but it’s just not happening anymore.
One thing that has helped is the #WeRunSocial wristband. It may sound silly but I use it all the time, pretty much all day. I need it most when it hurts and when my hand is shaking the most. I believe it’s the compression of the wristband that could be helping or the healing powers of the #WeRunSocial crew. Since it came from the coolest, best and most supportive runners in the running community that it is it helping my pains calm down. I guess I’ll never know 😉
But I do know that life keeps testing me over and over again and I keep passing with unicorn colors. There is no way I won’t give up the fight. This is a life long battle I have on my hands <- see what I did there 😉 but I am fully prepared to continue and give it everything I have. When I tell you I have been through hell and I fully intend to continue to walk through the fire, I will. Things are just getting harder, but I am getting stronger. I share all this will you all so you see that even if you don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, light it yourself. Because YOU are the light. Trust me. You have the strength within you.