What I do.

How many of you have rough days while training for a race? Or just don’t want to go out for that run because the weather just isn’t ideal, or you just simply aren’t in the mood? We have all been there. Some of you have braved it and gone out there in some crazy conditions but others didn’t even make it out of bed.

You all know that I have Scoliosis where my spine is twisted in two places, hence why I’m the Scoliosis runner, but I do also have Fibromyalgia. It’s a nerve condition which I can best describe it as having the flu where your entire body hurts without the runny nose and coughing and fever and such. Imagine that everything that touched your skin hurts, headaches, insomnia, fibro fog, bruising, weakness..just to list a few. The pain that is caused by it, I cannot describe.

The other condition I suffer from is actually a multitude of brain diseases. It’s not just one but several. I suffer from seizures, chronic migraine blackouts, chronic headaches, and I have a few masses in my brain. I NEVER know what is going to happen from one second to the next. I live my life on the edge. I’ve had seizures at random moments in public places and at home. Luckily I had my medical alert dog with me. Her name is Lyssa, she is a Doberman we rescued days before we left to go to New York when I went to run my dream race the NYC marathon. We didn’t know she had the gift, we slowly started realizing it.

Always by my side.

Running is tough in general, but running with all my health condition makes it even tougher. But what some are unable to understand and process, is the mental battle. I already believe that running is more of a mental sport that a physical one. You have to be able to conquer the mind before you can conquer the body. I’ve done that. I have to if I am going to be strong enough to be up against all the disease that are trying to break be done.

There are days where I can’t even breathe because my Scoliosis won’t let me because it hurts. Days that my migraine is so bad that I throw up and go blind. But the odd thing is….I don’t lay in bed crying over it. I live my life as best I can. Yes, there are days I must rest, sometimes weeks, but the days I can withstand the pain, I am running, biking, swimming, I am doing something to beat these disease because they won’t define me. I define me. I am in control of me, not them and I won’t let them win.

I might not be one of the most physically strongest people out there, but I am definitely one of the mentally strongest people. I like a challenge and I will take one when its thrown my way. My life has been a challenge since I was a kid and it’s only getting worse. Doctors are underestimating me and the ability of my strength. Not only do I push myself to prove it to myself that I have what it takes, but also to prove it to them that they shouldn’t judge anyone, nor put anyone in the “handicap” category just because they aren’t performing as they should for someone at their age and physical ability.

I get up in pain every morning and never know what the day will bring, but I do know that I am determined to make the best of it and reach my goals and dreams for life. I chose to be unstoppable and try to be an example to others that no matter what, so long as you believe in yourself, incredible things can happen.







2 responses to “What I do.”

  1. Spoonie Runner Girl Avatar

    Reading this honestly just made my day. 🙂 It’s so cool to read a post from another chronic runner out there! On some days it takes SO much mental toughness to keep running when you’re struggling with chronic pain and neurological issues. Thanks for sharing your story!

  2. Shannon @GirlsGotSole Avatar

    Your constant strength is always inspiring. I love that no matter what, you don’t let anything take you down, you always get back up and keep fighting.
    I love when you post about Lyssa, such an amazing furry baby! 🙂

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